every month Spotify curates your “top tracks this month”, which are songs you have listened to the most out of everything (they do this too with artists, but honestly I don’t think it’s as important to me as my top tracks). I find that each month I look with absolute anticipation to find what has been on my repeat, as it serves as a sort of reflection as well as appreciation.
I often use the music I listen to as an outlet for my emotions and interests, as many people do, being that some feelings and situations can only be truly encapsulated by a certain part of a specific song. on a simpler level, I find that if I have had a rough month, the songs I use to cry to (like No Surprises and All I Need by Radiohead or Funeral by Pheobe Bridgers) happen to be on my top list. additionally, I might have songs that I only remember listening to a few times show up, as a month of fatigue and burnout often results in a month without much music. on the opposite (and notably much more positive) end of the spectrum, music that gives me energy and a sense of euphoria (like Me and Your Mama by Childish Gambino, Heavy Metal Drummer by Wilco, or even Le Carnival des Animaux: le Cygne by Saint Saens) will appear on my top tracks if I’ve had a month that has been particularly good. overall, the intricacy of so many songs can be used to describe feelings which I believe cannot be fully expressed with words, giving a true outlook of how my past month has been.
by looking back at my top tracks I feel as though I am able to get a better glimpse into myself as opposed to maybe looking through my journal, voice memos, or any other means of expression I usually find, since it shows how I’ve felt the most over a period of a month. it summarizes my overall feelings into a mere four songs, giving me a synopsis which is short and sweet. since obviously these are songs which I know quite well, I also am familiar with the moods they bring about in me, truly allowing me to know exactly how I’ve felt over the past month as these are the songs I’ve listened to, and subsequently the feelings I’ve felt, the most.
I’m never opposed to understanding myself better, and using music as a comfort and reflection I feel is an amazing way to do so. by knowing the direction my feelings have been going recently, I am aware if I should make a change, which helps me better my mental health. furthermore, its not always that deep. sometimes, I’ll look back at a month and realize that it’s been fairly good and I’ve been listening to tons of music that I quite enjoy. or, possibly, I find that the things I’ve put on repeat has simply been my studying classical music, showing me that yes, this month has contained both ap testing and finals week preparations. overall, though, I really love my top tracks. they show me things I am subconsciously feeling as I decide what playlist to put on and allow me to analyze the trajectory of the rest of the month and decide whether or not to make a change.
(if you’re curious what they’ve been so far this month, ill show you and take you through a little bit of how I look into them)
firstly, my #1 top track does not surprise me in the least, as I’ve been picking out and listening to songs that make my stomach drop (in the best way possible). once the chorus hits, I have to close my eyes and just listen to fully appreciate the beauty of this song. I find that it fits into the theme of the music I hope to play at top volume once I get my driver’s license (in a few months, woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!) which is something I’ve been especially anticipating recently. this 100% reflects some good feelings.
next, hoe cakes by MF DOOM, is just such a fun song. I’ve listened to doom for a while now but for some reason have been in a mood to put him on some more, which I am definitely not opposed to. I think this track shows that I’ve been in a “dancey” mood, meaning that I often like to just play it and lip sync in my room, or try my best to memorize all the words. it gives me energy and makes me feel happy, both of which are things I think reflect this past month. also, I play doom a lot when driving with my sister, who has just recently come home from college, so this as a top track checks out.
next, black star. honestly just such a good song. a little slower and a little more emotional, but I think that I have also felt those melancholy feelings recently, so it does make sense. I find that this is a song I like to play to simply appreciate it, as I do with many Radiohead songs, and reflects feelings of indifference and calmness.
finally, waters of march by Art Garfunkel has been a recent favorite. I forget exactly where I found it from, but it reminds me so much of early spring (which i’m sure is no surprise, the title literally has the word “march” in it) and biking through my small town. it reminds me of contentment and simple joy, both of which are feelings that I hope to carry with me into summer.
anyways, that’s all for now, I hope you’ve enjoyed my little commentary.
I think I’ll open comments for this post (if I can figure out how) so that anyone else who would like to could share some of their top tracks? overall this blog is more of something I am creating for myself to look back on the the future, but it would be cool to maybe get some interaction.
<3,
blaire
blaire sheftel 